Number 1

About a month ago, there was an article in the Chicago Tribune about relationships and commitments. I felt it was important enough to cut out and discuss with my kids along with other people who expect certain things of their mates.

One of the things that stayed with me was it said that in a good relationship, you should be #1. I agree totally.

I mentioned this article to my hair stylist, Dan. He has been cutting my hair for about 19 years, so we have seen a lot of life between the two of us. He is married to a physician and they have three children under the age of ten - so it's a busy family and busy life.

I specifically said that in a relationship, each person should be #1 to his or her partner.

Dan scoffed and said, "That's not how it is at my house."

I had to gulp down a giggle, as this is exactly what my husband says: he says he is about 5th, following first the dog, then the kids, then my kitchen, then the cats and finally him.

Dan went on to say when his wife goes out with her girlfriends, she has 'the time of her life' and comes back laughing and talking about the evening. "When WE go out, and to a relatively nice place for dinner, say, she says 'oh, yeah, that was fun' definitely lacking the euphoria I see when she is out with the girls. Why is this?"

That is the big question. My friend Gail and I have tried to figure this out as well. We love our husbands, really, we know they are great guys and we know WE are number 1. It's as Gail says: "What guy wouldn't want his wife to go away with the girls? It's therapy and she is so much happier having spent time with her friends."

I still was laughing guiltily as Dan was cutting (chopping) my hair. He feels that he should understand this phenomenon since he is a hair stylist. I don't think it has anything to do with how much exposure a man has to women. It's definitely a Venus-Mars thing - not to be understood, just experienced.

I have to go - I am researching girly get-aways for a summer weekend......